February 2017 – Ask Kim Column

Dear Kim:  I have an urgent issue! My boyfriend of two years has been hinting that he is going to propose soon and suddenly, although I love him, I am feeling worried, upset, and distracted. Shouldn’t I be elated? I can’t sleep, I can’t eat…this fear is consuming me, like my “gut” is trying to convey something that I cannot pick up. I am an executive for a major energy company who has the responsibility of making far-reaching decisions on a daily basis; not the type of person who gets cold feet. What is happening?
Carole H., 57, Houston, TX

Dear Carole: The answer is very simple. Your “gut” instinct is trying to convey that your current boyfriend is not a romantic soul mate, but a very close friend (a platonic soul mate) who came into your life to be a spiritual student. He is planning to propose and it’s important to head him off before he buys a ring. You two are such good friends because of the loyalty that exists between you and your willingness to share everything with one another. So, this is not the time to avoid what is going to be the most important discussion you two will ever have. He’s mature and loving; although he’ll be disappointed, he also realizes, deep down, that you do not share true romantic-soul-mate feelings for him. The faster you open up to him about your feelings, the greater the chance that you’ll be able to preserve your wonderful friendship. Talk to him NOW…before he is forced to return an engagement ring!

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Dear Kim:  My husband and I have been married for over fourteen years and we have a great relationship. We love our jobs, can travel to exotic places, live in a downtown loft, and are saving toward retirement. I’ve just had a milestone birthday and it has made me wonder if we’re making a mistake by not having children. My mom and sister, as well as most of my friends all tell me to have a baby before it’s too late. But I’m just not feeling a maternal instinct at all. Will the maternal thing just happen once the baby is born? If my husband and I don’t have children, will we regret it later?
E. F., 40, Seattle, WA

Dear SE: Over the years, I have had many women ask their angels, “Am I failing to feel the maternal instinct that other women talk about because I am not ready to start a family, or is it because I am one of those people not destined to have children?” And, every situation is different. In your case, your angels tell me that you and hubby are perfectly content as you are. In fact, I am “hearing” that before you got married, you both agreed that children were not going to be a part of your lives. Stay your course regardless of what other people think, feel, approve, or endorse.

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Dear Kim:  We recently had a house fire and lost almost everything. My wife and I are okay (we weren’t home at the time of the fire; interestingly enough, we decided to walk our dog Daisy), but we keep wondering why it happened? The fire department chalked it up to some faulty wiring in the kitchen, and we are not having any problem with insurance kicking in to pay for everything, but we want to know about the spiritual reasons behind this calamity.
Pete Z., 67, Tempe, AZ

Dear Pete: You are very wise to ask about the spiritual reason(s) behind the fire. (I am so happy to hear that there were no injuries to you, your wife, or to Daisy!) Your angels tell me that you have been in a real quandary over the last five years about selling your home in Tempe and moving to San Diego, where you both dream of living. The fire has forced you and your wife to reconsider the future based (now) on how fleeting circumstances can be on the earthly plane and how precious each day is in terms of quality of life. This was meant to be a reality check provided by your angels. Rebuild the house in Tempe. Put it on the market. Buy a home in San Diego and finally make the move that you know is right for you!